The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
