I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
