but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
