There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
