i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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