even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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