after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
