The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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