I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
