Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
