So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
