someone owes me an orgasm
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
