Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
