So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
