Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
