Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My vagina just recognized that song.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
