he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
