I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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