it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
