HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
