I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
