I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
