She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize