You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
