My friends, they love my intelligence
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
