Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
