Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You can't special order awesome
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
