I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize