You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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