you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
