And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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