Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
