just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
