if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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