This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
