I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
