So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
