grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
