You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
