You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
