just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize