you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
