You work out of a Hotel?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
