i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
