you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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