We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
