I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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