Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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