I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
