the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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