I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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