I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
