Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
