I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
