it wasn't lemon gatorade
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
