Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
