I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
