Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
