And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
