somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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