so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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