Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
